Friday, November 6, 2009

car names explained

# Audi

* Always Unsafe Designs Implemented


* Big Money Works
* Bought My Wife
* Brutal Money Waster
* Bimbette Motor Weapon
* Break My Window

# Buick

* Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

# Chevrolet

* Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
* Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
* Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
* Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

# Dodge

* Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
* Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
* Dead or Dying Gas Eater
* Dear Old Dad’s Geriatric Express

# Fiat

* Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
* Fix It All the Time
* Fix it again, Tony!

# Ford

* First On Recall Day
* First On Race Day
* First On Rust and Deterioration
* Fix Or Repair Daily
* Found On Road, Dead
* Fault Of R&D
* Fast Only Rolling Downhill
* Features O.J. and Ron’s DNA
* Found On Russian Dump

# GM

* General Maintenance
* Great Mistake


* Garage Man’s Companion
* Got A Mechanic Coming?

# Honda

* Had One Never Did Again

# Hyundai

* Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive

# Mazda

* Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

# Oldsmobile

* Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere
* Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

# Pinto

* Put In New Transmission Often

# Pontiac

* Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It’s A Cadillac

# Saab

* Send Another Automobile Back
* Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
* Sorry Arsed Auto Builders

# Toyota

* Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

# Volvo

* Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
* Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

# VW

* Virtually Worthless


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Professor Chaos said...

I can't believe there are acronyms for Chevrolet and Oldsmobile! Bravo!

Joel said...

Neanderthal! Thank you! I learned the Pontiac one as a kid with a very offensive word (which was much more common then) and so I had to retire it because I couldn't think of an acceptable substitute.

Buy me a cold one..