The Economy is so Bad that:

-I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

-I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter
asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

-CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

-If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

-Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

-McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ounce.

-Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

-A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

-Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

-The Mafia is laying off judges.

-Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

-Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff
scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is
being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

-And, finally...


I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars,
jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I
called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan,
and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and
asked if I could drive a truck!