Tuesday, March 2, 2010

military rules...

Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.




US Army Rangers Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.



US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; they can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.



US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight'?
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.



US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

Go Navy !



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27 comments:

Arrius said...

I had a marine friend and roommate in college and I can honestly say that while friendly and nice he clearly had a plan to kill everyone in a room at any one time.

Anonymous said...

I used to work for a former marine FAST instructor and he used to demonstrate all the methods he could use to kill me. All the time.

Anthony Robertson said...

I was a Marine, never had any rules like these. The only "rules" were the laws of war and general orders...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laws_of_war
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Orders_for_Sentries

Anonymous said...

I was in the Navy and never served on a ship or in the ocean. In fact I probably saw more combat than about 99% of anyone in the military. Ever heard of a Corpsman?!?! I understand this is for laughs but it's just not reality, now get down and give me 50 turd!!!

AmyOops said...

YEs it is all for fun..

now go click on the tws and go find your military friends.

Kebbo said...

Anthony, you were obviously never in a combat unit or you would have heard at least some of these rules.

I'm thinking you were in a tech field and you made at least sergeant before you got out. Sergeant school is when they really hit you with that brainwashing bullshit about general orders and the UCMJ.

Brian said...

I was in the Marines a long time ago. I saw combat and had two rules; 1) there is no such thing as a fair fight. 2) there are no rules. As for the Navy Corpsman...I salute you. You guys might as well be a Marine. You trained right along side us, helped us hump our gear and put your ass on line to save ours. Thank you Brother

Kyle said...

I'm an ex-Marine and that sounds about right.

Anonymous said...

I have never heard a marine refer to themselves or others as "ex-marine". "former marine" yes.

jim_Spencer said...

Someone on here posted anonymously and stated that they were a Navy Corpsman. Are you embarrassed by this ? If so why did you post it ? If not why did you post anonymously ? You should be proud of your Service in The Navy ! Go Navy !!!!

Brian said...

Kyle, are you sure you were in the Corps? I have been out for 25 years and to this day I have never called myself an ex-Marine. I will always be a Marine.

Anonymous said...

once a marine, ALWAYS a marine!

CrazyGlitch said...

I will admit the Air Force one is mostly true. Just don't think all of us are like that. Some of us go out to build up the FOBs and JCOPs you live in. Just keep an eye out for Civil Engineers in the Air Force, cause they probably built the FOB you are living in.

Dustin said...

I am a Marine, and no AF built my Camp. Other Marines and SeaBees built this one up (Camp Leatherneck). Most of these rules are quite accurate, and definitely funny!

If you consider yourself an ex-Marine, you might as well not even mention it. Once a Marine always a Marine!

Btw, some techies get theirs too, but we always respect the grunts!

Josh said...

My Father is a Marine, my Grandfather is a Marine, I'm on my way to becoming a Marine, and about half a dozen other family members are Marines. Another dozen were in the army. Then very few the Sluder family joined the air force or navy. And as far as I can tell, these rules are REALLY close to the truth lol. Though my Marine family members may seem cold and mean sometimes, they all saw combat and lost close friends.
The Marines are some times seen as grunts, bullet sponges (according to corpsmen), and honest other tittles that seem unruly. But every last one of them that didn't get an unhonorable discharge (even some of them) deserve the utmost respect for what they went through and the job they did.
The US military all together deserve respect, but the Marines and the few exceptions that were put in danger to save innocent lives and some that gave the ultimate sacrifice more than deserve the very numerous memorials in the honer of those that served.
I've looked at and considered the other branches of the most powerful and most respectable military in the world and I choose to join nothing but the best. Semper Fi

PS for Kyle- "There are no EX-Marines, once a Marine always a Marine"

childundergod said...

I come from a military family both parents in the air force me becoming a Marine as soon as I graduate but there is on type of air force that sees just as much combat. The combat camera squadrons in all the armed forces are exceptional. My dad has been told many times he is one of the best of these by the generals hes met. you gotta give them respect. My dad saved 7 men in the second invasion of Falujah by dropping his camera and firing on an insurgent with his side arm. Come to find out later the insurgent had an RPG and was about to fire. My father was shot the next day in the hand but instead of evacing he operated as best he could. I am regularly told how BAMF my dad is.

The Blue said...

Whooop dee doo!!! I've been an FMF Corpsman for 7 years and on my 5th combat deployment... And everyone is right once a marine, always a marine... but remember me and my brethren will never stop until we know everyone comes home safe...

Eric said...

Come now, not every AF guy sits in an office. How bout the AF rescue guys? Any of you that have been out in the field, would you rather have dustoff come or Pedro(aka the PJs)?

As for the Marines, mad respect.

Kerri said...

I would just like to add one thing for the marine rules. It should also state that if a spoon cannot stand up on it's own in that mug of coffee toss it out and make new coffee.

Kenneth said...

This is def. a corny joke, funny. As for everyone debating about what and who did where and how... remember, we are all just doing our jobs. Each one as important as the other, no matter what branch. WORD!

dawnzer said...

That's funny Dustin since the Air Force is building all kinds of stuff on Camp Leatherneck right now! I am a project manager at the Air Force Center for Engineering and the Environment and we did that new Solid Waste Management Facility, the Re-locatable Buildings WITH air conditioning so you guys could move out of the tents, the expansion to the med facility, some DFACs.... oh, and that itty bitty 11,500' runway so you guys won't have to do so many ground convoys. Not to mention all the hangars, parking and refueling areas for the Marine rotary wingaircraft. Nope... the Air Force didn't do anything at Camp Leatherneck/Camp Bastion.

Blake said...

Yup, those rules pretty much work for us Marine Corps Infantry, especially when you're in Marjah. To you corpsmen, I love every singly one of you, you guys made sure our boys came home. And to Eric, mad props for Pedro and Dustoff. We had to call them in more then anyone would have wanted too, but they were some hellish fliers, and always got our boys out. To bad our slotted air flights such as Dealer and Shootout couldn't be as useful in their abilities. Thanks Higher, for not approving gun runs when they're needed.

80Price said...

My Daddy is a Marine. Growing up, his form of discipline was to warn me, "I can kill you with these 3 fingers!" I quickly ceased whatever it was he found to be unacceptable. I'm now 37. I still remember how effective his warning was!

monkeyshine89 said...

I'm an airman, and just so you know, just like ALL ARMED FORCES we have our fair share of desk jockeys. To be honest, the army has the lion's share of desk jockeys, simply because they handle most of the military's paperwork. But yeah, airman build the runways, rescue marines, usually run the hospitals in the AOR, and of course, maintain the aircraft, which is not a fun thing to do. Just because you do not see combat 24/7 does not make you less of a military member... any REAL military member knows everyone is essential to the mission. From TMO to finance to services to air craft maintainers, and army rangers, we all need each other.

Matt said...

Dawnzer I wish this was Facebook so I could like your post. I love my AF CE job. But if I ever needed to be on the front lines with Marines I would. No matter what branch, we all signed up swearing we would defend our country with our lives at a moments notice. Some people tend to oversee that.

Yonicoo Wu said...

I was in the Navy and never served on a ship or in the ocean. In fact I probably saw more combat than about 99% of anyone in the military. Ever heard of a Corpsman?!?! I understand this is for laughs but it's just not reality, now get down and give me 50 turd!!!

Unknown said...

I will say that a FMF Corpsman might as well be a Marine. They train and fight right along side of us. Mad respect for them. They also made floats with us and not all corpsman become FMF corpsman

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