Thursday, September 12, 2013

66 Soul Punching, Evil Things People Have Done, Said, And Experienced

7. hackysack

I gave someone a Nickelback CD.

25. Dawn_of_the_deaf

Back in college, my roommate was gross, she used to not take a shower for over a week, she would wear the same pair of trousers for a whole month, she would leave all her dirty (DIRRRTY) clothes on top of my freshly washed towels, she used to smoke in our tiny bathroom, and a long gross etcetera.
She used hair-removing cream to get rid of the hair in her armpits (which is totally fine) but afterwards she wouldn’t clean the sink or remove the cream bits filled up with armpit hair. Day after day, the same cream bits were there, I used to have nightmares when I thought of how gross those were. Every time I needed to brush my teeth, I felt like throwing up. After warning her kindly twice, and seeing however that she still wouldn’t do anything about it, one day I decided I would, from that moment on, clean it myself. Am I not a dream roommate? I used to leave the sink spotless, her toothbrush did the trick very well.
I used again this cleaning method when my brother kept sprinkling the toilet bowl instead of leaving it up while taking a piss. He has damn good teeth, though.

27. Knife_Ninja

The day after “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” came out I played counter strike all day with the handle SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE.

28. MickolasJae

When I was in preschool, I apparently put glue on the entire class’s seats. Didn’t get to go to recess, stayed in and broke crayons in half and threw them at the flagpole.

29. murftrixon

When I was 11, I gave a kid (he was 9) a pretzel stick I had stuck in my cat’s litter box.

30. frickthebreh

This rather large kid had a habit of bullying me out of my Oreo cookies at lunch everyday. When you’re in second grade, this begins to take a toll on you. Finally, I went to my dad about it and he concocted quite the plan, halfway inspired by something that happened in a children’s book he read to me at the time. He took one of the cookies, hollowed out the center of the cream , and put a ton of Tabasco sauce in there. When he resealed it, he left cream on the outer edges so it still looked normal. Needless to say, I was incredibly excited about what was going to happen the next day at lunch.
The next day, he actually wasn’t bullying me out of the cookies…he must’ve had a change of heart for once. But A.) I wasn’t going to eat that shit and B.) I still wanted to discourage him from ever stealing them again. So without provocation, I took the bag of Oreos and offered them up to him for free, on my own behalf. Delighted, he took a bite of the atomic one and immediately started coughing to the point where he was pseudo-choking. He ran to the bathroom, vomited (I believe), and I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.
He never stole my cookies again…I still smile about it to this day.

40. rikAtee

When living at home, me and my bro would squabble a lot, just little stuff.
However, for some reason I cannot remember, I decided to knock it up a notch BAM! by sliding chicken into the tubing of his blinds on the window next to his bed.
After a few days the smells started and after a few more the flies came and after a few days I hear this almighty scream, the likes no one can generate unless they wake up to maggots falling from their window onto their sleeping face – which, funnily enough, was what happened to him.

44. TFJ

I created the font known as Comic Sans.

read all 66 here

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